Ok, I had occasion to watch someone play Super Paper Mario on the Nintendo Wii last night, and I was appalled. What is this abomination?

These are the things that I did not agree with. I kid you not, this is a Mario game.

Mario has a health meter. That’s right. Instead of losing your fireflower, becoming small or plain dying, you just lose health.

You gain XP and level up. Thereby increasing your health, damage, etc. I really didn’t pay much attention to this feature because it began to annoy me.

You do damage to opponents rather than killing them outright. Yes, you may have to step on a goomba twice unless you’ve gotten the random card that allows you to do more damage to that bad guy. It’s weird.

No longer is the overworld just a level selection. You actually travel between levels, passing through villages as you go. It reminds me very much of Link (the second NES Zelda).

Oh, and the plot. Gone are the days of Bowser kidnapping the Princess and then leading you on a chase through every castle in the Kingdom to find her. Oh no, you have to fight a guy called Zant - I mean Count Bleck, some ancient sorceror with some extra-dimensional powers who has kidnapped the Princess.

To help you track him down you get the help of Navi - I mean Tippi, who is a “Pixi”, not a Faerie.

Oh, and somewhere along the line Mario becomes the hero of legend destined to stop Bleck or something.

Totally not Zelda.